Forging a New Path in Kindergarten

My Dearest Halen,

I sit here thinking about how fast five years went by. I think back on being in absolute maternity bliss when you arrived, you were part of me. I was complete with you in my arms. I could stare at you and smell you and kiss you all day long. The sleepless nights were long forgotten with you by my side. You made me a mama and taught me along the way. You taught me how to listen to my instincts, how to shut out the chatter that so often becomes too much to bear.

You taught me about sacrifice, resilience, and the power of love. You taught me to shine in God’s love and to spark joy.

I am wrestling with letting you go. But I know God has the best plan for you, the best plan for our family.

What I really truly want for you is to be different. I want you to stand out from the crowd, I want you to let your light so shine that others are drawn to you by your kindness, your humility, your bravery.

As you start your first year of kindergarten, I want you to forge a path of goodness, of leadership, of truth.

What is most important to me is that you are confident in who you are, a daughter of Christ. A beautiful, radiant, loved, cherished, valuable, worthy, daughter of God. You were created in His image my darling girl. You were fearfully and wonderfully made.

The past five years are blurring past me because I thought I had more time. When you were born I was elated to have five years. I fought hard to be home with you. The last 4 years have been a pure blessing, to be able to be the one to answer all your questions, to listen to all your ponderings, to greet you with a smile, to fold you into a hug, to cuddle on the couch during sister’s nap. I have cherished every single moment.

I know our journey, our relationship as mother and daughter has just begun. The best is yet to come my sweet girl. God has a grand plan for you, this is just the beginning. I pray nightly to for God to help me raise you to lean on Him, to trust in Him, to abide by Him, to lead others toward Him.

This may be the first year you realize that we are different. And that is okay. God never told us our lives would be easy. He said they would be fruitful. As long as you believe in Jesus sweet one, your life will be filled with blessings.

As you walk into your classroom, hold your head high with a smile, hold Jesus in your heart, the fruits of the spirit should be your goal for each day: to be gentle, kind, peaceful, joyful, loving, patient, faithful, good and to have self-control. Some people may not say nice things, show them kindness and patience, you might be a beacon of light for them. Rise above my precious girl. God asks us to focus on what is good and to turn away from what is not.

I am so excited to see all you accomplish this year. Do not let anyone hold you back from being the best Halen you can be…the bright, smart, creative, loving, bold Halen your daddy and I know you to be.

Thank you for teaching me the most important things by being your mama. When you see the tears well up in my eyes, know those are happy tears...happy to have had four beautiful years with you home with me, blessed tears because gave you as a gift to me, eager tears to see the fruit from this year. My smile will show you that I am excited to see all you will accomplish this year. I will be eager for 2:50 every day to have our afternoons together.

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 

1 Timothy 4:12

I love you more than every start in the Rocky Mountain sky and every grain of sand on the Sleeping Bear Dunes.

Love,

Mama

Fearless, fantastic and FIVE

My darling girl. You are FIVE. My brain sometimes cannot keep up with the fact that you are growing constantly. I pass by the picture from us in the hospital every night when I kiss you into bed and stare at it thinking that was just yesterday when we started this life together.

I am so proud of you. You are a child of God, fearfully and wonderfully made.

You shine your light for Jesus wherever you go and it makes daddy and I beam with pride.

Your light blue eyes are eager to learn and befriend everyone you know. You have done awesome in your pre-k class, you love creating art and being active.

It has been so fun to watch you in dance this year as you learn your body. Your dance recital was so much fun to watch! We are so proud of you.

Your swimming skills are awesome and you will do front and back flips off the side of the pool! So brave!

You are best buds with dad and I think that is the greatest. You and your sister are best friends and play together so well now.

We sing Lauren Daigle in the car, we love cuddling on the couch to watch Full House before we all go to bed. We love going on adventures.

Every night we do your bible study, sing songs and pray.

My wish for you my darling is to have confidence in Jesus to fill you up and bring you joy. I never want you to expect others to make you happy. I pray that you will always be a leader for good, including everyone and sharing the gospel wherever you go.

Jesus is our protector, our shield, our strength. He will make the path for us.

For your 5th birthday you chose to have your ears pierced, you didn't even cry! We went to the Austin Zoo, had pizza for dinner (with Enna & Landon) and then you birthday party was a joint party with Henley -- Let's Flamingle theme. It was so much fun. Madelyn, Reese, Camryn, Allison, Layton, Brooklyn all came -- they colored a flamingo, then played pin the feather on the flamingo, we played flamingo ring toss, had fun with the flamingo pinata and even read a story about a flamingo. Enna helped put beautiful pink balloons all over our house and made you pretty tutus to wear with your flamingo shirts. Yaya helped, Didi & T came along with Marlene, Papa, Julie and Landon. We had so much fun!

I love you so much Halen girl. This year is going to be full of big changes and so much fun. You start Kindergarten at Laurel Mountain, you are joining a more serious dance team. We are so excited to see you flourish.

I love you darling girl!

You Are The Light Of The World

February 5, 2019

Halen my love,

Tonight we talked and your heart poured out to me about your fears about Heaven, dying, and your uncertainties about getting old. My beloved daughter, I pray that I can convey to you how wonderful it is to have faith in a God as mighty, loving, grace-filled and forgiving as ours. My heart was full of angst as I saw your tears and your fright rise up within your little body. I can imagine how it must be to process all of this information and I am so sorry because I am not perfect. I am inadequate and I am flawed, but I pray God uses me as an instrument to help deliver his good news to you. I pray one day you come to me and daddy and say, “I want to accept Christ in my heart.”

When mommy was faced with cancer, I was filled with fear. But I could not let that fear win… fear turns to darkness and I will never let the darkness win. Jesus represents all that is light, all that is good. I clung to my faith because that was the only solid ground I could find. When you dance with death, you feel like you are walking in quicksand. Satan wants us to succumb to these fears, he wants us to be afraid and he wants us to doubt and to get angry.

Instead of choosing anger, I chose joy. I asked Jesus to breathe his life into me and to help me do good despite my cancer. One of the best things God gave me was you! He taught me how to love unconditionally, he taught me how to be patient, to be kind, to be slow to anger and quick to forgive. He taught me to put others before myself.

I do not want you to be afraid darling daughter of mine. I want you to grow in His grace and know that you were fearfully and wonderfully made. You were prayed for and wanted. You are beautiful, you are strong. I want you to be filled with God’s grace, confident in His word, and a leader for all that is good. God has big plans for you my Halen girl. He wants you to be bold. He wants you to use your God given gifts to give Him Glory. God has the best plans Halen, even better than we can ever imagine. And Heaven…. It is better than our best dreams.

There is nothing to fear my sweet girl. God loves you no matter what, nothing could tear his love away from you. He is eagerly awaiting your commitment to love him and to accept Jesus into your heart. There is no rush. Your daddy and I have committed to raising you with God as our center. He pray everyday about being the best parents for you and pray God equips us with the tools and armor to raise you in God’s light.

I am so proud of you. I am forever grateful to have been given the best gift, that gift is to be your mom. I love you forever and ever. We will always be together, here on earth and again in Heaven.

Love Always and Forever ,

Mommy

First Day Of Your Last Year in Pre-School

Dear Halen Girl,

Wow, today you start pre-school for the last time. This is your third year at Bethany School and I am so excited to see what you will learn.

You are such a delight, daddy and I love learning about the creative mind, energetic spirit, and performing ballerina that is blooming within you.

I know this year you will have an awesome year learning how to write and maybe even how to read. You will get to make new friends and unlock all that is yet to surface within that beautiful brain of yours.

You are also starting dance this year... at your first dance class it was so much fun watching you learn all the ballet steps and how to tap dance.

You will continue swim classes this year too. We will keep in touch with Sheridan, Camryn, Reese, and Owen as you enter a class of new students.

Let the creative juices flow my love. Always be confident in yourself, you are the only ever YOU and Jesus wanted you to be Halen, no one else. I want you to be happy always because you have Jesus in your heart.

It is so fun watching you grow and learning about who you are becoming. God created you with a special gift and daddy and I are so excited to see what that is. We promise to nurture it, support you and encourage you every step of the way.

Happy first day of pre-k 4 Halen girl. I love you more than every star in the Rocky Mountain sky and more than ever grain of sand on the Sleeping Bear Dunes.

Love,

Mommy

Mama’s Love

My Halen girl. You made me a mommy. You entered my world and everything changed. Your presence taught me wheat true love is. I love you more than I can even put into words.

I love your gorgeous hair, those blueberry eyes, I love your energy and huge heart. I am so proud of your tenacity and your empathy for others. Your sense of adventure keeps me on my toes.

Always be kind, no matter what. Be a leader for jesus. Befriend everyone...the sad, the shy, the unwanted, the loud, the messy. Be humble. Whenever you are unsure use Jesus as your compass, he will guide you down the right path. Be classy, work hard and never lost sight of who you are. Jesus knows every hair on your head Halen and he has a grand plan for your life. Your sister is your best friend. Daddy is your prince- always stray close. YaYa adores you. Papa cherishes you. Enna is your god mother, she will always be there. She promised to love you and guide you in life.

I love you more than every grain of sand on the sleeping bear dunes...more than every star in the Rocky Mountain sky.

I love you I love you I love you.

Mommy

Ballerina Birthday Party- FOUR

Today was your birthday party.... it was fantastic!

We had it at Yaya's house.

Everything was pink, including the food, just like you wanted.

Menu:

Pink Noodle Salad
Pink Hummus with veggies, sweet potato chips, beets, purple potato chips and plaintains with pink Himalayan sea salt
Spinach dip
Dogs & Cheese
Watermelon & Purple Grapes
Strawberry Wafer cookies
Pink Ballerina Cookies
Pink Lemonade

Cake: Vanilla spice + chocolate cake with pink buttercream frosting

Miss Caiti came over as a pink ballerina and she taught a ballet class and played games with you! She was amazing. You learned to pirouette and leap and all the positions in dance.

We had a pinata filled with honey sticks, raisins, strawberry taffy and games. You were so strong hitting the pinata!

Your friends played and had so much fun!

You had Piper, Presley, Brooklyn, Sheridan, Camryn, Reese, James, Lincoln, Ellie, Crash, Jager, Atlas, Addy, Capri, Charley all there to play with!

It was an awesome time. You wore a real ballerina tutu with real ballerina hair!

For presents you received some awesome books, a jump rope, yoyo, beautiful tutu outfit, stickers and more amazing books.

We loved celebrating you today Halen Rae Carol Wiatrek.

You were a gorgeous, fun-loving ballerina today. Please always be humble, gentle, grateful and kind. Remember presents are nice, but good company is always better!

Love you baby girl,

Mommy

Conversations with our Four year Old

May 3, 2018: "Mommy I teach you, echo me: hello neighbor, what do you say, it's gonna be a happy day, greet your neighbor, boogie on down, give a bump and turn around!" "Faster!" It was so fun spending the day with you today birthday girl.

May 5, 2018: "A real ballerina tutu!" "Daddy, get in line let me teach you ballet. Ash-a-tay! Go daddy, ash-a-tay!" (At your birthday party)

May 14, 2018: Halen at breakfast said, “Henley that is your tummy not your heart. Your heart is up here. That’s where Jesus is.” 😍

May 19, 2018: “When I have my 18th birthday, I want an Elsa party and when I am 25 I want a Rapunzel party.” 😂

May 22, 2018: Daddy was getting a haircut from YaYa and you said, “Daddy I can’t reach your chin through your beard. Will you be different with a shortcut?”

June 1, 2018 I was putting Henley down and you came in with Enna’s high school picture and said, “here Henley you can hold this picture during nap so you know Enna is always with you and then you won’t be sad.” 😍 So sweet Halen.

June 4, 2018: I told you we had a make up swim class and you said, “What kind of make up should I wear mommy? Can you put some lips on me?” It made us laugh, so funny! 💋

June 8, 2018: On our road trip driving to Kentucky you said, “Henley want to have a conversation with me?” It was so cute.

June 13, 2018: “You can’t sleep when you’re squished.” Your response to Henley squashing a snail you found and I told you the snail was now sleeping in Heaven. You’re a smart, funny girl Halen!

June 17, 2018: While sitting on the potty you said, “Mommy, I love your voice.” My heart just melted...I love everything about you baby girl.

June 20, 2018: We we’re walking to downtown Charlevoix and you stopped and said,”Daddy I have something in my shoe! It hurts! Is it a shark tooth or something??” So so so funny Halen girl!

Fierce, Fantastic FOUR

Halen Rae Carol...you are four years old today. My gorgeous, vibrant, busy, talkative, strong-willed, leader. I am so proud of you. This year has been a tough one, but you have been such a joy and light in my life and the lives of those around you.

You are loving pre-school at Bethany, you talk about being the line leader, loving movement, singing songs in music class, art and playing mommy at pretend time. You really love your friend Sheridan in class.

You are thick as thieves with your daddy, you tell us he is your prince and you will marry him one day. You love using daddy as a jungle gym, riding bikes together, going to the coffee shop and trips to Home Depot.

You are mommy's helper, I love spending my Tuesdays and Thursdays with you, we try to have fun outings, bake, play games, watch movies and play in the playroom. You love playing outside, swinging, collecting bugs, looking up at the trees, watching our windmill blow in the breeze, pull Henley in the wagon and have picnic lunches on your picnic table.

You and Henley are becoming the best of friends...you are playing together more and more. You love momming her (which frustrates mommy and daddy sometimes, but we know you mean well), she loves you so much. You are the first words out of her mouth in the morning, "Where's Halen?" It is the sweetest.

You love your friend Piper June, neighbor, Brooklyn, and Camryn. They are your favorites so far in life. We play dress up with Piper, play outside with Brooklyn, and have playdates with Camryn.

We are enjoying our small group this year with Capri, Charley, Owen, Jayden, Cayden, Bennett, Oliver, Ophelia, Clover, Josiah, and Brielle.

You have grown so much this year, you are truly your own person...determined, you love structure, you love being given responsibilities, you love helping others, you love doing bible study, you LOVE to perform. You are in swim lessons at Emler, and they just moved you up to the next class. You are in gymnastics and you seem to love it. You want to start dance, and we got you a real ballerina tutu leotard to wear to dance classes we are putting you into in the fall.

Our relationship has grown so much this year as you've watched mommy battle cancer. We talk about everything. We have cried together, hugged, cuddled, laughed, played, rejoiced, and prayed.

We really love living back in our house, spring break was a blast in Colorado, we are excited to head north for our summer vacation to Michigan in a month.

Today you woke at 6 am with pink balloons everywhere, you had pink roses and gifts on the kitchen table... from daddy and I you got dresses, supergirl panties, summer stickers, a ballerina tutu leotard, a pretty diffuser, athletic shorts. From Henley you got swim shoes and a rash guard for this summer. Nene got you a cute jumper and flip flops. Our neighbors, Jan and Al got you princess books. Then you had chocolate chip waffles with blueberries. Yaya came over and on our way to Sweet Berry Farm you got a chocolate "brossant" (your favorite), then we met your cousins, Crash and Jager at the farm. You jumped on the giant jumpy, went on a tractor ride, fed goats, said hello to horses, painted a flower pot and picked strawberries! It was so much fun. You were so excited to spend the day with your cousins, you all held hands and laughed so much today. We had lunch by the lake and Yaya brought you a special cupcake. Then we drove back into town and you went with mommy to get your nails done. You chose sparkly purple for your toes and sparkly gold for your fingers. It was beautiful. We looked at pictures of you in my belly and your birth-day and when you were so little. Then we came home to celebrate you being born at 4:43 pm. We played out front with our neighbors, Mr. Adam, Ms. Rachel, Brooklyn and Parks...ate popsicles, played on bikes. Then we went inside for family showers before your birthday dinner of corndogs, mac n cheese, green peas and blueberries. Then you had an ice cream cake with chocolate cake, vanilla ice cream and light pink icing that read, "Happy birthday Halen!" Then we played in the playroom and you got to fall asleep cuddling in mommy and daddy's bed. I think it was a pretty spectacular day my love bug. We have your ballerina birthday party on Saturday to celebrate too.

I love you my blueberry eyed baby girl. You are my darling, my star, my beloved sweetheart. Thank you for being my daughter, thank you for choosing me. I am so grateful to God for your presence in my life. I am looking forward to watching you grow, our talks and memories we will make this next year.

I love you more than every star in the Rocky Mountain sky and every grain of sand on the Sleeping Bear Dunes.

Love,

Mommy

Mommy's Mastectomy

Dear Halen girl,

Hi baby, mommy has her surgery today. We have had some amazing conversations about all mommy is going through. I have been in awe of your response since the beginning...through mommy starting medicine, to mommy's hair falling out, and now to my surgery.

I am so proud of you Halen...you are such a bright little girl with a huge heart. I love how our relationship has grown...I love tucking you in at night...laying with you talking about the day and praying. I love taking you to school and being involved in your school's activities. Like your Thanksgiving Feast this week, you were an Indian, "Little Red Cloud" so darn cute. I love watching your relationship with Henley grow where the two of you will play together. I love watching your relationship with daddy grow. I love watching you swim, you are getting so good at that!

This next week may be difficult, mommy will need a lot of relaxing time and may not be able to do as much. But daddy will be here as our hero, like always. And we have a lot of family coming into town for Thanksgiving that will help us. I know Maile is so excited to play with you.

I love you so much Halen and no matter what it is so important to remember that. You are my big girl and we have so much to accomplish in this life together. I know the best is yet to come.

I am so proud to be your mommy.

Love,

Mommy

Mommy's hair is growing back.

Mommy is almost done with chemo. I have four more infusions, and then I am done. While I am done I will have three weeks to recover before surgery. In those three weeks mommy is creating a bucket list for our family, which includes:

- Go to a pumpkin patch
- Decorate pumpkins altogether
- Make an apple pie with Halen
- Eat pumpkin pancakes
- Have a just Halen and I date
- Watch Halloween movies
- Drink hot apple cider
- Go trick or treating
- Visit the Silos in Waco
- Go stay at a hotel for a few nights and play
- Go in a hot tub

I am excited to accomplish these with you. My hair is growing back! You are very excited about this. I just love having you as my daughter Halen, you are learning to say so much. I love talking to you and learning what you know. I love being able to drop you off and pick you up from pre-school this year. I love having Tuesday and Thursdays as just me and my girl days. I love our morning cuddles on the couch before Henley wakes up. I love your imagination and creativity. I love your fearlessness and determination to try. I love your way of showing big love. I love our talks and snuggles before nap and bed... I love hearing about your favorite part of the day. I love praying with you and hearing your added prayers. I love talking to you about Jesus, and hearing what you know.

You are the light of my life Halen, ever since you were in my belly. I gaze at our pictures of when we first met and am flooded with happiness as you are my greatest gift.

And as mommy is about to end phase one of this battle this year, I am grateful to have you by my side to love me unconditionally, to snuggle with me, to give me the best hugs, to tell me you like my hair and I am pretty. I am so grateful for you.

Thank you for being my daughter. I love you Halen Rae Carol.

Summer 2017

This summer has not been an easy one. But, you have been so precious lately. Always asking how mommy is feeling, wanting to cuddle with me. Telling me you can't wait until my hair grows long like Rapunzel. I am so blessed to have you as a daughter Halen Rae Carol, you bless me everyday with your voice, your love and those beautiful blue eyes.

Mommy has been going through these treatments on Thursday mornings to make me better. I have 10 left. Now that mommy is on the easier medicine I am able to play with you more. I don't feel as bad, and hopefully my hair will start to grow back. I quit my job to stay home and focus on my health. It has been so wonderful being home with you. Daddy has been home all summer, we have gone on walks, went to the park, to the pool (you jumped off the diving board!) and DiDi & T even got you and Henley a swing set for our backyard.

But now daddy is going back to work, you have a few more weeks until you start your second year of pre-school. On Mondays YaYa comes over and we try to go on adventures, this past Monday we went to the Austin Nature & Science Center...you and Henley had so much fun looking at fossils, animals of all sizes and playing in the Dino Pit. I love watching you learn and grow. You have had a lot of playdates this summer with Camryn, Jaxon and Kenzie, Brooklyn, the Hobbs and Mrs. Laura even came to play one day. You even went to spend a weekend with Papa & Gigi! They took you to Schliterbahn and the New Braunfels Children's Museum.

Our schedule these days is you getting up very early and daddy hears you, he puts on a show and snuggles with you on the couch, he makes you breakfast your favorite is blueberry pancakes or blueberry waffles) and then mommy wakes up. We go get Henley together and then get dressed and start our day. You love picking out what you want to wear now, you even like picking out Henley's clothes and mommy's clothes. We usually go on a walk when it's early and not so hot outside, you love to run ahead of mommy and pick wildflowers or find acorns (treasures). You do lots of talking these days, it is like there is so much in your sweet brain that you want to share that you talk all the time to share every bit of information you are learning about. In the late mornings we try to do something fun...go to the park, splashpad, have a playdate with friends, and then we do lunch. After lunch is more playing until naptime. Naptime is when sister sleeps, you sometimes sleep and mommy gets to rest. Once we wake up from nap, we get a snack and more playing. Daddy comes home and then our nightly routine starts. We try to have dinner around 6-6:30, play, milk, sometimes bath, get in jammies, watch a movie or show then we put Henley down. When it is time for you to go to sleep you usually want a snack, then we brush teeth, go potty, get in pull up, lay down in bed, say prayers, then lately you have been asking for mommy to tell you a story of you in my belly and a story of you out of my belly...then I always ask you what your favorite part of the day was. I love hearing your prayers and favorite part of the day. You always pray for your friends, for mommy to heal, and that you're thankful for your family. It is so sweet.

You and your sister are starting to play so well together and are truly starting to bond. You give hugs and kisses, Henley loves you so much. I love you so much. I am excited to see all that you will learn this year in school, and I am excited I get to be home to take you to school, pick you up from school, and attend fun parties at school.

I love you Halen! Dream big princess.

Love,
Mommy

My energizer bunny

Hi darling,

Mommy just wanted to write to you about a chapter in our lives that we are going through. You may remember tidbits, or see pictures or hear stories one day, so mommy wanted to talk to you about it. The day after sister's first birthday, mommy was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was completely unexpected and blindsided daddy and I. Our lives are just getting better and better then bam we were hit with this. But our village has been amazing, people have been supporting us and loving on you girls like no other.

My first thoughts were for you girls, I just wanted you to be okay and I wanted to be there. I am your mommy, no one else and I will be there the next 60 years of your life. So in the past two weeks daddy and I met with a lot of doctors, had a lot of tests done and appointments to understand what all is going on with mommy. We learned that I have to undergo chemotherapy, a medicine treatment that will make the cancer go away. Now this treatment may make mommy sleepy, forgetful, sad, and I might hurt. But that means it is working and the cancer is going away. You may have to forgive mommy if I sleep too much, or if I forget to come to gymnastics, or if I don't make the right kind of snack, or if I hurt too much to come watch you swim. But Mommy will still have good days, and I promise you when I have good days I will laugh, smile, sing, dance, cook and snuggle.

I love watching you grow and learn Halen. It makes mommy sad to think I might miss out on some special moments this year. But it is important for mommy to focus on being well so I can be there to laugh, travel, run and play. You will have a lot of fun playdate with Papa & Gigi, YaYa, DiDi & T, Nene and Gramps, Camryn, Brooklyn, Piper, Penelope, Jaxon & Kenzie and more awesome people that love you so. Mommy will get through this and when we do, we'll have an incredible family vacation next summer to celebrate.

No matter what Halen when life gets hard it is important to remember that Jesus is always there, right next to you. And you are always stronger than you think. I love you more than all the stars in the sky, and more than all the sand on the Sleeping Bear Dunes.

oxox Mommy

My beautiful big girl

Halen...I love you so much. Your wild heart makes me soar. I love your smiles and giggles. I love your sense of adventure and your brilliant imagination. I love watching your childhood unfold in our living room with doctor kits and hair brushes. I love how much you love your daddy. I love your energy and how smart you are. I love your strength and determination. You my darling will be something amazing one day. But always use your strengths for good...to be a blessing. Please learn to love your sister fully and whole heartedly. She cares for you so much and I want you to learn to share your heart with her. Learn to be her best friend because at the end of the day, she was placed on this earth to be your sister. No one elses, to be your best friend. Do not take that for granted. Rejoice in this beautiful relationship and nurture it.

Use your talents to build people up. to make people feel welcome and loved. I wish for you to be a leader in every positive sense of the word. I want people to look up to you, to watch you in awe of your grace, tact and walk with God. I want people to yearn to be near you because you're such a wonderful friend. Pray anytime you are fearful or uncertain. Never shut daddy and I out. We are not only your parents but we are your biggest fans. We want all the goodness in the world for you. We want you to be successful, to be safe and to be happy. If I am not around, go to daddy with everything. He has prayed his whole life to be a daddy of daughters and he is. Jesus answered his prayer, starting with you. You are the answer to daddy's prayer Halen. He is an amazing daddy who loves you more than you'll ever know. Tell him everything, never be afraid to speak up or engage in uncharted territory. Daddy will handle it all with love and wisdom.

I have so much to look forward to... you starting elementary school, watching you in gymnastics class, family trips to national parks, holidays in the mountains or on the shores of Lake Michigan, planting a garden with you, cooking and baking with you, singing silly songs and dancing silly dances with you. I want a million days with you. I will never have enough. I want to breathe you in, soak up your laughter, I want your blueberry eyes to make marks on my soul forever. I want to record your voice so I can replay it over and over. I always want your cuddles.

I love you more than every star in the Rocky Mountain sky and every grain of sand on the Sleeping Bear Dunes. You made me a mommy, thank you for choosing me. You gave me purpose and direction. You are the anchor to my soul.

Love,

Mama

Young, wild & THREE!

Halen Rae Carol...you're three! I can hardly believe it. I absolutely adored my pregnancy with you, I cherished your birth and was in new mama bliss for that summer of 2014. Now here you are, my bug girl. I am truly taken aback by you. Everyday you prove to me how smart, strong, independent, problem solving, creative, and kind you are. You've accomplished so much this past year...

• You have full blown conversations with daddy and I.
• You started pre-school and have learned your colors, shapes, ABCs, about science, exercise and most importantly God.
• You're learning to be such a good, kind friend.
• You are becoming a better big sister everyday
• You can swim 10 feet in a pool. You come up for a breath and keep swimming, you can lay on the water all by yourself and float! It's so fun to watch.

Daddy & I are so proud of you. You are our enthusiastic, independent girlie who loves big and plays hard. We treasure every moment with you whether on nature walks, snuggles in our bed, or all the family adventures we have.

I know it's been tough adjusting to bring a big sister, but we know how amazing your bond will be one day.

We love being your parents and know this year will be incredible.


Love,
Mama

Conversations with our 3 year old

May 5, 2017- We were talking about Enna and you kept saying, "Enna is my Grandmother!" Hahahaha! I kept remind you that Enna is your Godmother, but you haven't seemed to understand the difference yet. So cute. ❤️

May 7, 2017- "Daddy I want a chocolate brossant from the coffee shop." Chocolate croissants from the coffee shop with daddy have become a favorite treat. ❤️

May 19, 2017- You keep adding "at all" to the end of your statements. For example: "I am not hungry, at all." "I am not sleepy, at all." "I don't want to, at all." It is pretty cute.

May 19, 2017- Daddy pointed out the water tower and you told daddy that you had a "super duper big idea" (like from Sid the Science Kid) and said we should build a super tall slide and, "go swimming! And Henley can slide down on the other side with you." I love how smart you see babe. 😍

May 23, 2017- We were singing "Wheel on the Bus" and at the end you added a line saying, "Halen on the bus says I like hugs, I like hugs, I like hugs. Halen on the bus says I like hugs, all through the town." It was so cute.

May 23, 2017- You told daddy, "Daddy did you know giraffes don't have a tuni or a butt?" And then you grabbed a stuffed animal and said, "See, they just have a tag." Lol so funny!

May 24, 2017: Daddy told you to pull his finger, you did and he tooted. You immediately told daddy, "Pull my finger," and YOU tooted! It was so funny.

June 8, 2017: I was explaining what grace was to you and how we need to give people grace. YaYa got frustrated and you said, "We need to give YaYa grace mom." It was hilarious and very true. We all laughed.

June 15, 2017: "Mama you feel better today?" Every morning you ask me if I feel better, from my cancer, which we share bits and pieces with you. You're so sweet my Halen.

June 20, 2017: "I'm right here mama, I'm right here for you." You've been saying that as you cuddle next to me on the couch when I don't feel well. I love you so much my Halen, my little angel on earth to help me get through this tough chapter.

July 1, 2017: We were at P. Terry's for breakfast and wanted you to eat your breakfast sandwich, but you wanted the potatoes. The potatoes were hot and we warned you to wait so you didn't burn your mouth, but you wanted to learn your own way and took a bite. It was very hot and you spit
out the potato. We said, "Halen you always have to learn the hard way don't you?" And you responded, "No daddy I learn the soft way." 😂 So funny little girl.

July 6, 2017: Mommy's hair fell out and I was nervous to show you. When I first cut my hair, you were not happy as you think we should all have long hair like Rapunzel. Then when I shaved my head, you seemed really concerned and sad. But we talked about it and then you were okay. This time I prepped you by saying at the doctor I got another hair cut, I took off my hat and your response was, "Oh mommy you're so pretty!" I was stunned and so joyful with how precious your reaction was. Then you hugged me tight. I love you Halen.

July 10, 2017: Mommy had a rough day and you said, "Mommy, I got you." And you pulled me in for a hug. It made mommy feel so much better.

July 13, 2017: You poured some water into a cup and said, "Here mom have some lemondade." So

cute.

July 28, 2017: "Mommy I have to drop a deuce." Halen, where did you hear that? "Daddy. He drops a deuce." 🤣







August 26, 2017: Daddy prut you down for nap, a few minutes later you came out and said, "Dadd
y



! I
have to poopoo butts on the potty." (You say the funniest things these days.)

September 3, 2017: "Mommy, I want to stay three." (You were not happy about turning four one day. Luckily we have some time. I don't think you like change.)

October 31, 2017: "Trick or treat!" "I love my Henley and Crash!" "Can I smell and count my candy?"

November 15, 2017: After having a discussion about mommy's surgery you said, "Daddy did you know that mommy is going to lose a boo boo tomorrow? But she'll be okay."

December 1, 2017: As we were putting up our Christmas tree, you said, “It’s super beautiful. I like it.” And you helped us decorate the tree!

December 5, 2017: You were up very early and you were cuddling in mommy and daddy’s bed, you said, “I’m really hungry guys.” You’re funny and an energizer bunny.

December 7, 2017- You love the nativity scene and you love setting it up. You say, “Mary, baby Jesus and Jophes.” It’s super cute. Then we walked outside with our neighbors and it was snowing!!!! You and Brooklyn were trying to catch snowflakes on your tongues, you said, “I can’t catch the snow on my tongue Mommy!” We danced around in the snow, it was quite magical. ❄️

December 9, 2017: You were writing a letter to kids who need more than we do and said, “Jesus loves you.” Then you started their letters saying, “Baby Parks, I am giving you my pink num num (you have gone one week without it! Huge for you sweet pea.)” Then you said, “Daddy loves his wife.” You’re so precious Halen.

December 14, 2017: Daddy and I took you to see the Nutcracker and within minutes of it starting you  said (very loud), “Mommy she twirled” and you kept wanting to look at your scrapbook (the program). I loved watching how excited you got. You thought each ballerina was a princess, “there’s Ariel, there’s Cinderella!” “This is amazing!” We had so much fun with you.

January 5, 2018: As you were watching your baby sister eat dinner you said, “babies are messy.” It was pretty funny.

February 3, 2018: We went to Torchy’s Tacos for breakfast and a group of Indian men walked into the restaurant and you said, “There are a bunch of Pranav’s!” You were referring to an Indian boy in your class named Pranav.

February 3, 2018: We went to Trader Joe’s and you got a little cart and said, “I will go slow and watch out for old people.” Hilarious.

February 10, 2018: "Daddy, you'll blow away when I clean my room." 😂

February 15th: We’re on our way to small group and you sang in the backseat,” I love my parents, I love Grandma Carol, I love the trees, I love the leafess and the bugs, I love pretending, I love papa and Gigi, I love everyone and the flowers.”

February 23, 2018: At dinner we were talking and you said, “How about I buy a house right next to you? I can come over and it will be great.” We pinky promised that you would really do this. Daddy offered to buy your house, mow your lawn, and I said I would play with your babies. 😍

March 15, 2018: We are on our spring break trip in La Veta, CO and you said, “I liked today. Today was a good day. I liked the snow and our nature walk. Me and daddy a little date.”

March 22: “Mommy I have swallow up.” (After you had the tummy bug and threw up all day 🙁)

March 26: “Mommy, I have bacteria.” After you had diarrhea from your tummy bug. Poor lovey.

March 28: “Mommy, my tummy is playing jokes.” (As to why you still have some diarrhea, sweet girl.)

March 28: “Mommy Enna is my GODmother! I didn’t know that, but I love it.” (So sweet! Enna asked you to be her flower girl for her wedding next April, we are so excited!)


April 5th- “Daddy you’re my bestest friend ever.” 

April 12th- You came downstairs after already being tucked in, climbed in bed to cuddle with daddy and said, “Daddy I just don’t think I have any tireds.” Then you yawned and said, “well maybe I do.” Then you fell asleep in daddy’s arms. 

Life is too short to not be authentic & for crappy friends.

One day in the all to near future I want to read this article to you. Maybe when you're 13 or 17... Or maybe we need to read it every year you're a teenager as a reminder.

I am sure I will share my teenage years with you, but one of the resounding lessons I learned was it is not worth it to be anything but yourself and to be "friends" with anyone who isn't true. It's not worth the short "high" to then fall to a devastating low.

So let's read this together and always know you are a daughter of God. He created you with purpose and in His image. So no one can make you feel less than, do not let them.

I love you more than you'll ever know. More than every star in the Rocky Mountain sky and more than every grain of sand on the Sleeping Bear Dunes.

Love,

Mommy

https://www.babble.com/parenting/dear-girls-life-is-too-short-for-crappy-friends/

"I don't want to be a big girl mommy."

These words were said the other day and they melted my heart. You are weeks away from turning 3 and there are a lot of big steps we are working on. The first is giving up your beloved num num. you've loved this gem since you were tiny. It has been the one item you attached to and became your lovie. So to give this up is a huge deal for you.

Life is full of growing moments and you are in a big one. The steps between babyhood and beig a big girl is hard. Hard for daddy and I as we watch our baby girl bloom into such a sharp, nurturing, athletic girl. You make us so proud. I know theses moments are tough, but God is shaping you into such a blessing for this world. He knows you will share the love of Jesus and shine wherever you go.

We are also working on potty training and eventually giving up your bottle. You have been doing an amazing job at potty training. It hasn't been easy, but you're making some huge strides into stepping away from diapers.

We love you so much darling. Daddy and I are here every step of the way.

Love,

Mama

The Perfect Day

On Wednesday, March 15th we were given a perfect family day. The day before you had a random fever and slept on the couch all day long...worried that you were coming down with something I took the next day off of work. But when you woke up you were fever free! So we decided to take advantage of the day. We loaded up the car and headed downtown, it was a beautiful day. Our first stop was coffee and tacos from el Chilito. Then daddy surprised us by taking us to some local farms. First on the list was Boggy Creek Farm, we walked all around looking at all the veggies and flowers. We saw chickens and ducks, you loved it! We asked you what you wanted to buy and you said eggs, so we had you pick out six special dark fresh eggs. You picked green ones, red ones avid white ones. Second farm was SpringDale farm, we saw a lot of ducks here! And they had a teepee, we loved walking all around together. The weather was perfect. They even had a scarecrow your size! The third farm was HausBrau Farm and you saw a donkey!!

Then we went to lunch at Gourmands, we all are yummy food & daddy and got some beers. Music played and you danced and played with big blocks. Next we went to Whole Foods, where you and Henley fell asleep so daddy parked in the shade and we waited til you girlies woke up. Daddy went and got him and I kombucha and our favorite desserts: daddy- pecan pie, mommy- chocolate mousse. Then when you woke up we went to take pictures by Uncle Chase's ATX sign. It was so cool! You loved climbing all around. Then we decided to head north and go to Hat Creek Burger for burgers, a beer, milkshakes and you could play. DiDi & T met us there for a little while.

It was a simple day, but so wonderful. To get out and just be together. I love you and our family so much. Your smile brings such joy to my heart. Your voice is like a song for my soul.

It was a perfect day.

You started Pre-School!

Halen you started pre-school this year and it has been an absolute joy watching you learn. You are in the Monkey class at Bethany Methodist with Ms. Laura & Ms. Shannon. You go every Monday and Friday and you have Sheridan, Owen, Camryn and Reese in your class. You have learned so much! You learned all your colors by October and have developed some great social skills too. You love to play on the playground and to do the Movement part of class. For Halloween, you dressed up like a strawberry and had a little party that mommy came to. You painted your pumpkin and won, "Most Religious" which made mommy and daddy so proud.

Favorite Things

Halen you are growing up so much lately. From the way you speak, to how you carry yourself, to what you know. It's incredible. Sometimes daddy and I just look at each other in awe that our baby is able to be so grown up already.

Lately you love pre-school, you've learned so much...all your colors, counting, most ABCs, you can spell your name and write an H on your paper.

I have loved staying home with you and your sister this year. I love our little conversations and cuddles. I love watching your relationship with your sister grow. You are definitely a big love kinda gal, your sweet sister gets mauled by you on the daily. But I keep thinking she's going to lovingly make that up to you one day. You are quite smitten with daddy these days, he can hardly go potty by himself without you tagging a long. Considering you were attached to my hip for two years and now want to be all daddy, it's sweet to see.

I occasionally get sad when I see how much you've grown up from that tiny little human that I used to be inseparable from. Your imagination is starting to emerge and it's really fun to witness. You love being outside and running around. You are not a big fan of shoes. I have started doing some really fun hair dos with your awesome hair. Potty training is not your jam right now, so we decided to put a hold on that and let you decide when you're ready.

Valentines Day was super special, daddy brought you, your sister and mommy each a beautiful bouquet of flowers. You also got a Minnie Mouse pillow, gummy bears and a sweet homemade card from mommy and daddy.

I love you Halen Rae Carol, with every breath in my body. I am sad to see you grow, but I am proud and happy to see you bloom. I hope we are always very close.

Love,

Mama