Mommy's hair is growing back.

Mommy is almost done with chemo. I have four more infusions, and then I am done. While I am done I will have three weeks to recover before surgery. In those three weeks mommy is creating a bucket list for our family, which includes:

- Go to a pumpkin patch
- Decorate pumpkins altogether
- Make an apple pie with Halen
- Eat pumpkin pancakes
- Have a just Halen and I date
- Watch Halloween movies
- Drink hot apple cider
- Go trick or treating
- Visit the Silos in Waco
- Go stay at a hotel for a few nights and play
- Go in a hot tub

I am excited to accomplish these with you. My hair is growing back! You are very excited about this. I just love having you as my daughter Halen, you are learning to say so much. I love talking to you and learning what you know. I love being able to drop you off and pick you up from pre-school this year. I love having Tuesday and Thursdays as just me and my girl days. I love our morning cuddles on the couch before Henley wakes up. I love your imagination and creativity. I love your fearlessness and determination to try. I love your way of showing big love. I love our talks and snuggles before nap and bed... I love hearing about your favorite part of the day. I love praying with you and hearing your added prayers. I love talking to you about Jesus, and hearing what you know.

You are the light of my life Halen, ever since you were in my belly. I gaze at our pictures of when we first met and am flooded with happiness as you are my greatest gift.

And as mommy is about to end phase one of this battle this year, I am grateful to have you by my side to love me unconditionally, to snuggle with me, to give me the best hugs, to tell me you like my hair and I am pretty. I am so grateful for you.

Thank you for being my daughter. I love you Halen Rae Carol.

My energizer bunny

Hi darling,

Mommy just wanted to write to you about a chapter in our lives that we are going through. You may remember tidbits, or see pictures or hear stories one day, so mommy wanted to talk to you about it. The day after sister's first birthday, mommy was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was completely unexpected and blindsided daddy and I. Our lives are just getting better and better then bam we were hit with this. But our village has been amazing, people have been supporting us and loving on you girls like no other.

My first thoughts were for you girls, I just wanted you to be okay and I wanted to be there. I am your mommy, no one else and I will be there the next 60 years of your life. So in the past two weeks daddy and I met with a lot of doctors, had a lot of tests done and appointments to understand what all is going on with mommy. We learned that I have to undergo chemotherapy, a medicine treatment that will make the cancer go away. Now this treatment may make mommy sleepy, forgetful, sad, and I might hurt. But that means it is working and the cancer is going away. You may have to forgive mommy if I sleep too much, or if I forget to come to gymnastics, or if I don't make the right kind of snack, or if I hurt too much to come watch you swim. But Mommy will still have good days, and I promise you when I have good days I will laugh, smile, sing, dance, cook and snuggle.

I love watching you grow and learn Halen. It makes mommy sad to think I might miss out on some special moments this year. But it is important for mommy to focus on being well so I can be there to laugh, travel, run and play. You will have a lot of fun playdate with Papa & Gigi, YaYa, DiDi & T, Nene and Gramps, Camryn, Brooklyn, Piper, Penelope, Jaxon & Kenzie and more awesome people that love you so. Mommy will get through this and when we do, we'll have an incredible family vacation next summer to celebrate.

No matter what Halen when life gets hard it is important to remember that Jesus is always there, right next to you. And you are always stronger than you think. I love you more than all the stars in the sky, and more than all the sand on the Sleeping Bear Dunes.

oxox Mommy