At midnight on Saturday, May 3rd, I started to feel different than usual. Your daddy had fallen asleep and I wasn't sure what to do. I was bouncing on my birth ball, watching a show and timing the erratic surges I was feeling. I finally texted your Aunt Dana and she said I needed to go to sleep because if this was indeed labor I would need my strength. So I willed myself to sleep. I slept pretty well except I would get up every two hours, each time I stood up I felt a gush of liquid. But each time I went to the restroom it looked like my mucus plug not my water breaking. So I thought nothing of it and went back to bed.
In the morning, daddy was fixing me breakfast and your YaYa came over to drop off eggs. I told them I felt like something was going on and I'm pretty sure I felt contractions but I still wasn't completely sure. While daddy was cooking, I remember putting on Jimmy Fallon, thinking a funny show would help take my mind off the contractions. They started getting harder and more intense...like the worst period cramps ever. I would try bending over the couch and breathing through them, or standing up and bending over the railing on our stairs. I texted your Aunt Dana again and she suggested going on a walk, so my labor would progress and not stall. So I ate a bit of breakfast with daddy and we got ready for a walk. We didn't want to go too far so we walked back and forth across at Millrun Park by our house, under the shady trees. Each time a surge would come I would have to hold on to your daddy and breathe.
We started timing the contractions more closely and they seemed to be about 5-7 minutes apart. Finally we decided to go back home and take a warm bath. Daddy drew the bath and as I got undressed a big gush of clear liquid ran down my legs, we knew for sure that my water had broken.
I got in the bath and my contractions seemed to slow down a bit, perhaps because I was more relaxed. Marlee was really sweet and came up to see what was going on at the edge of the bathtub. I then stood up and took a shower, which felt nice. I started feeling intense back pain on top of the contractions. Your daddy was timing them at 3 minutes apart for 1 minute and these had gone on for about an hour...so he texted your doctor, Doctor Swenson and made the call that we needed to go to the hospital. Your daddy clicked into dad mode and showered, hurried around the house, making sure we had everything we needed.
Then we got in the car and drove to the hospital, luckily it was in the middle of the day on a Saturday so there was no traffic. We got to Seton Downtown very quickly. Daddy parked, and by this time my surges were very intense. I remember having a contraction in the middle of the parking lot and I had to hold on to a wall. Then we passed a big man on our way into the emergency room, he looked right at me and said, "Well, good luck!" Then we walked into the emergency room entrance and there was no one around. I was in a lot of pain and making a lot of noise, screaming noises. A nurse was trying to eat her lunch and realized how in labor I really was and rushed off to find help. Finally a wheelchair came for me. They whisked me up to the labor/delivery ward and checked me. Doctor Ickball was on call and said I was 5 cm and fully effaced, she said I would not be leaving. Our nurse was Morgan, she was fantastic. This was at 12:25 p.m.
I was in so much pain that I practically begged for some help. I looked your daddy in the eye almost with tears and said, "honey I really need some help." I didn't want your daddy to be disappointed in me for receiving some help. Your daddy had been trained to steer me clear of any pain medication but I couldn't believe how painful this was. I didn't want an epidural by any means but I wanted something. So I asked the doctor what my options were, she said there was some pain medication I could get right into my Hep-lock that was like having a margarita. That sounded fabulous to me so I said, "Yes please!" She gave me a full dose pretty soon after I was checked into the hospital. Then an hour later they checked me and I was 8 cm dilated. I asked for more and they gave me a half dose since I was moving so quickly in labor. By then your daddy had texted your YaYa and she drove up to the hospital.
YaYa arrived when I was 8 cm dilated. Our nurse Morgan kept prompting me to change my positions from my left side, on my back, right side and on all fours. Because I had such intense back labor, being on my hands and knees helped alleviate a tad of the pain. The pain medication I took really helped me relax in between surges, I felt really drowsy and sleepy (which I welcomed greatly). But when I was in the middle of a contraction I felt everything, the pain medication definitely didn't take anything from that.
About another hour or so later I asked to be checked again and I was 9.5 cm, my doctor said I was very close to where I could push. I was trying to breathe through transition but it was hard. Some of my contractions were so intense I had to scream, I remember my nurse suggesting I find another way to deal with my contractions or I would hurt my throat. (Haha) Our hypnobirthing classes really helped, because even though I would lose control with some of my contractions, I would reign it in for the next one, focus and breathe through it. Your daddy was such a phenomenal coach, he kept telling me to keep my breaths low (like we learned in class), he was so encouraging and never left my side. I asked to be checked again and I was still at 9.5 cm, Doctor Ickball said in the next contraction she could try and maneuver you over the lip of my cervix so I could push. So my next contraction came, Doctor Ickball helped and she said, "Okay you are ready to push!" My nurse Morgan told me she wanted me to push three times with every contraction. And to make sure and relax in between. I wasn't hooked up to an IV, your daddy kept me hydrated with coconut water and kept reapplying my lip balm. I also kept asking for ice chips. The nurses and Doctor Ickball were very respectful of our birth preferences. Everything we hoped for we received. But my labor moved so fast that there are several things we never used...my birth ball was left in the car, the positive affirmations I wrote down were never put up around the room, we left the essential oils in the car. You were monitored intermittently so I could focus on my surges.
Your daddy was on one side of me, holding my leg and your YaYa was on the other side, holding my leg. Your YaYa would coach me to curl up into a C each time I pushed, take a deep breath, bear down and do it again. I wanted you out so bad that I would push four times instead of three each contraction. Our nurse Morgan, would tell me to switch sides during pushing. Finally they said, "We can see her head, she has a lot of hair!" They asked if I wanted a mirror to see but I declined. I could barely keep my eyes open and I was so focused. So they suggested I reach down and feel you, so I did. I felt your head and hair!!! That helped motivate me, you were so close. So I kept using all the energy I could muster to push. I remember looking at the clock and saying to myself, I am going to have her by 4:30...that didn't happen so then I said, I am going to have her by 5 p.m. And I did! Your head kept coming out, then going back in, coming out, going back in. Then finally you stayed in position! They said, "You are so close come on a few more pushes left!" It felt like they said that to me 100 times. But finally with one big push your head came out and the rest of your body squished out too. It was the coolest feeling! You were born at 4:43 p.m. You were born sunny side up (face up), which is why I felt some back pain because our spines were rubbing against each other.
They put you right on my chest and I instantly started kissing you and rubbing you. I wanted every ounce of that vernix rubbed into your skin. I took off my robe and sports bra so I could hold you skin to skin. Then your daddy cut the cord! Your daddy also took off his shirt so he could hold you skin to skin. We had a few moments as our newly established family.You looked just like me when you were born, I was born face up too with a cone head, just like you! Your head went down very quickly though...you were the most gorgeous sight I had ever seen.
Shortly after that, they took you to be weighed and measured. My temperature dropped significantly and I was shaking vigorously. I was immediately covered with blankets from head to toe. Your daddy was with you while you were being measured. YaYa was with me. Then soon after my temperature dropped, it raised really high to 102.
At some point during labor Doctor Ickball had discovered that my white blood cell count was unusually high. She decided not to tell me for fear that I would panic, and my labor was moving so quickly she wanted me to stay focused on delivering you. As soon as I delivered you, she said that I would need to be treated with antibiotics due to a uterine infection. She also said you would have to go to the NICU to be administered antibiotics. You were weighed at 9 lbs and measured at 20 inches long.
They then said I could breastfeed you before you left for the NICU. You latched on right away and we fed for 30 minutes. Then the nurses came in with the incubator that you would go in. Tears started streaming down my face, my heart started beating faster. My daughter, the one I have prayed for, hoped for and watched grow within me was now being whisked away from me into the neonatal intensive care unit. How could this be? Your daddy promised not to leave your side. And before I knew it, you were gone and I was alone in the delivery room. It was a whirlwind. This was 6 o'clock in the evening, merely over an hour after you were born.
Thankfully, your YaYa came back into the room, as did your DiDi, T, PaPa and GiGi. They all helped lift my spirits while we waited for your return. DiDi handed me a Stella Artois beer, it tasted so good and YaYa said it would help with my milk production.
The other scary hour was from 6:30-7:30 p.m. when the NICU was closed, meaning your daddy could not stand next to you holding your hand. But your daddy stood right outside the NICU and prayed that long hour while waiting to be next to you once again. You were in the NICU for almost three hours. Daddy said that you would suck his finger and it calmed you down.
Then finally, you came back to me in our postnatal, recovery room. Our hearts felt a bit better now that we were together as a family. You showed all good signs of a healthy baby...you fed wonderfully, were going potty normally, slept soundly. All night nurses came to check on you and I. We both had IVs in our hands. I held you the entire time in the hospital, only setting you down in the bassinet when I needed to go to the bathroom and your daddy was sleeping. I think I slept maybe an hour, the entire hospital stay. We used the quilt YaYa had made us to keep us cozy and remind us a bit of family and home. We were so in love with you.
The next day Julie and Neicey came to visit, they brought coffee and breakfast tacos! Then your Uncle Chase, Aunt Heather and cousin Crash came with a beautiful orchid. Everyone loved you right away. Your Aunt Dana, Uncle Daren and BFF Piper also came to visit with more coffee! (Your daddy and I loved all the coffee, since we were exhausted!) Your YaYa was there everyday helping with you, with me and feeding us. She made us a beautiful basket full of pink treats and a darling pink wreath for our hospital room door. Your Papa & GiGi came a lot as well, bringing us food and helping in any way they could. Your DiDi & T also came a lot to keep us company. Everyone kept saying how beautiful you were. Your daddy & I beamed with pride.
The day before we were discharged was a scary day, the doctors decided I was well and did not need to be given antibiotics anymore. I was officially discharged. But the nurses became worried about you, one of your counts was extremely high and they were worried about your breathing patterns. You had to go back to the NICU for more antibiotics, daddy and I were always with you. I would feed you up there, and just stepping in the NICU was terrifying. I had to scrub in before I could see you. Then when I walked toward your bed, I passed all these teeny, tiny babies. Some had IVs in the top of their heads, it was so scary. Daddy and I kept thinking, how can our daughter be in here? She is healthy, she doesn't belong in here. And we were astounded by all the babies that were alone. We were the only parents in the NICU. Daddy and I couldn't imagine leaving your side. At one point the nurses said you might have to stay in the NICU for an entire week. Your daddy and I were so scared and had a bit of a breakdown with this frightening news. We watched you get poked and prodded and all we wanted was to take you home. They took your blood once more to check the count and the next morning we were blessed to hear that your count was returning to normal. You had one last trip to the NICU to be observed for release. Everything went perfectly. The nurses kept saying what a beautiful and healthy baby you were.
Finally on Tuesday, May 6th you were given the all clear and discharged from the hospital. Daddy and I couldn't get you out of there fast enough. We went home that day and hugged our family so tight...grateful for all the care and thankful to be healthy and home together.
That is your birth story Halen Rae Carol. We love you so much, you are more than we ever imagined. We are already better people because you are in our lives. Thank you for choosing us as your parents.
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Oh my sweet one...life has been such a wonderful ride with you in it. Once we arrived home your daddy and I were delighted. Your YaYa came over to help and she held you while daddy and I slept for two hours. This felt particularly nice since I barely slept in the hospital. Then we started to slip into a family groove. We put your Moses bassinet in between us on the bed and you would wake about every hour or two hours to feed. It was really hard for me to get used to waking up every few hours, but as soon as I would make eye contact with your baby blues I was happy as could be..JPG)
Marlee came to sniff on you when we first came home from the hospital, it was very sweet. Marlee was curious of who you are. She is your kitty and hopefully will be around for many more years. 
I had my first Mother's Day, which was wonderful! We went to Cover 2 with daddy, YaYa, Uncle Chase, Julie, Uncle Glenn, Neicey, Uncle James, and Ryan. The food was delicious. Then we went back to YaYa's house for a bit, then we spent some family time together. Daddy and I had a drink and appetizer in the Domain then we went to have sushi because mommy hasn't had sushi since before I was pregnant with you. It was so good. 
Everyone has been so kind to us, bringing over meals, coffee, visiting with us. We are so loved. You are so loved my sweet one. At 10 days old we had Momma Mathison come over to take your newborn pictures. We absolutely love them! Of course, we wanted some of them to be naked and when we had you all undressed you pooped on mama and daddy and peed on daddy. Silly girl. :)
more...starting to recognize daddy and I. You are a little feisty one, you definitely get frustrated with me if I don't get your milk to you fast enough. :-) We are learning together. You are an amazing eater though...you have had no issues latching on and you sleep really well. The only time you seem to get fussy is when you're hungry. At your newborn well check you had gained 4 ounces (from 8 lbs 6 oz to 8 lbs 10 oz) and grew 1/4 inch. Then at your two week well check you gained 14 ounces (!!!) from 8 lbs 10 oz to 9 lbs 8 oz and grew 1.5 inches! Your daddy and I were so impressed and the pediatrician is elated with your growth. She said you are so healthy and we should be so proud of you.
We have started developing a routine... we wake up slowly after your last night feeding, cuddle, mama gets her coffee then we go on a walk. Rachel, our neighbor was accompanying us on our walks while she was patiently waiting for your friend Brooklyn to make her entrance into the world. Then daddy would come home. We are pretty low-key, just relaxing around the house and loving on you.
Your friend Brooklyn was born on Memorial Day, May 26th! We went to visit her a few days later when they came home from the hospital. So exciting!!!
We went to make Daddy and Papa's Father's Day gifts at a pottery place. We put your footprint on a coffee mug for them You didn't like it very much. But they will LOVE these gifts. 
Papa bought this pink chair for you...so cute!!! 
We wrote a happy birthday sign for sweet Brooklyn!
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